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"I used to talk this guy on social media ,turned us into situationship...having sexualconvo but then after few days my friend call me and told me that I'm talking to his bf ( obv. Idk anything about their relationship ) I wanted to talk to someone because just one month back my bf cheated on me with my high-school friend and then I met this guy ,but when I get to know about him ....I asked him to broke up but he was a psycho and he begged me not to leave him and i got manipulated because I started falling for him , days passed and it was my "first time " he knew since day 01 that I never do it . So forced me and I said no but he didn't stop and then after we had physical rlsp he left me after a week .....there was a twist - he used to say that we both studied together in 5 grade . I mean wowww . Now I never ever wanted to see his face"

'First time' and 'cheated' seem to echo your deepest fears and the rawest pain. It’s okay to feel the weight of 'never ever wanting to see his face'.

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"我想说的有点多 高一高二我没认真学习 我喜欢我的一个学弟朋友 我们都是男生 他把我当朋友 我把他当情人 我还意淫过他 我有时候和我的朋友起矛盾 今天我顶撞了班主任 我骗了家人 我没有好好学习"

Losing your connection or faith in life is a deeply isolating experience.

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"I am young and so I don't know much about love but I feel like I genuinely love this guy and I confessed but he didn't like me back. this acually brought us closer and I think I am in love. nobody else has ever made me feel anything since him it been more than a year and I feel empty without him. I love him so much and it hurts so bad knowing that I can never be with him. but id rather that than never be able to see him again."

It's like even though he didn't feel the same way, being around him still feels more meaningful than being with someone else. Being close to him, even if it's not romantic, seems to be what you're holding onto.

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"i wish i didnt follow others and did what i believed, even when nobody believed me yet. now ive to start late to do things that i wanted to bc i couldnt bring myself to finish what others expected me to."

You’re seeing how putting others’ expectations first pushed your own goals back, and that late start feels frustrating.

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