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"I live in the town I grew up in. I left it many years ago and was much happier but returned as an adult to make my Dad happy then had a kid and got stuck here. Dad is dead and my kid left to study and probably won't return. I'm now 60 with no savings or job and my Mum has dementia. I wish I could die.I literally wish someone would kill me"

The 'town I grew up in' carries a lot of memories, both good and bad. It's okay to feel stuck, but you're not alone in your 'stuck' place.

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"我想说的有点多 高一高二我没认真学习 我喜欢我的一个学弟朋友 我们都是男生 他把我当朋友 我把他当情人 我还意淫过他 我有时候和我的朋友起矛盾 今天我顶撞了班主任 我骗了家人 我没有好好学习"

Losing your connection or faith in life is a deeply isolating experience.

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""I can't survive this distance between us , my heart feels heavy . I've been thinking about you since we had the last convo . Munnu come back to me.""

It sounds like the distance between you feels like a heavy presence you keep carrying. Thinking about that last conversation keeps that feeling close.

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"i wish i didnt follow others and did what i believed, even when nobody believed me yet. now ive to start late to do things that i wanted to bc i couldnt bring myself to finish what others expected me to."

You’re seeing how putting others’ expectations first pushed your own goals back, and that late start feels frustrating.

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