"I regret putting my all constantly knowing i won’t receive nothing back"

"我想说的有点多 高一高二我没认真学习 我喜欢我的一个学弟朋友 我们都是男生 他把我当朋友 我把他当情人 我还意淫过他 我有时候和我的朋友起矛盾 今天我顶撞了班主任 我骗了家人 我没有好好学习"

"Me and munnu are in relationship, within few days it's gonna be an year.But there are some odds going on between us . I've realized a lot and he seems to not like my behavior and I didn't knew him completely earlier,I recently got to know his interests i feel bad that i didn't knew him earlier and he wasn't the person i thought,I don't know if he still loves me.The moment i got to know him exactly I've accepted him(he's not a bad person)and I didn't even dare to ask or fight w him about this . I feel like I'm left alone. I want him back"